Atton's log
by DLSCB
Summary: Atton is the pilot of the Ebon Hawk. Here are some of his logs where we get to hear how he describes the events happening around him.


Author's note:

 _This is the beginning of a story based on Kotor 2. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with the way it turned out so if you have any suggestions for a rewrite or a future installment please let me know. I do really want to keep the log summery style since I don't feel like writing the novelization of the game and a log let's me gloss over the big events of the game while still allowing me to explore the character a bit. But maybe I went too far with it. Should I have more prose. Let me know._

Pilot's log One:

Ok, I guess first things first. If you're reading this I'm probably dead. That or my privacy is being horribly invaded and you should stop it. Anyway, I've meant to do one of these for a while. There are lots of things I feel I need to set the record straight on. But this recent one is going to be a bid deal so I suppose I better start there.

I'm not sure what the authorities are going to say but for the record (assuming I haven't spent my entire life in prison for this) I did not destroy the Peragus mining station. We were running for our lives and the zombies attacking us (Why are you laughing? They were zombies. No really.) Anyway … sigh … the zombies that were attacking us, no doubt to eat our brains, fired on the Peragus asteroids and they caused the explosion.

Now there's the other charge. We stole a ship. Yes, well, it was an emergency. We were being attacked by zombies, like I said. The zombies were stupid enough to start shooting at the frozen fuel in the asteroids. The law calls that extenuating circumstances. So yes, we did commandeer a ship to allow us to get away but it was totally legal for us to do so. Besides, it wasn't even that good a ship. This thing is a piece of junk with a busted Navi computer and the hull looks like it was put back together with spare parts. I'm not entire comfortable flying this thing so if the original owner wants it back they can have it just so long as I don't have to spend any time behind a force cage. (Because if I do then I'm totally keeping the ship as compensation.)

Now you might be wondering, if the navi computer is busted then how can we possible fly anywhere. I would like to say I was just that good a pilot but the truth is we have an astromech droid handling navigation for us. Yay! (sarcasm). Besides him (I think it's a him) there's another droid that looks like it's just waiting for us all to go to sleep so I can murder us. Hello nightmares. Good thing for me he looks like he's already seen his final days. We couldn't get the thing working even if we wanted to.

Then there are the other humans on board. I use that term loosely mind you. I know I'm human but what they are requires just a bit of explanation. See they're both Jedi. Are Jedi human? I'm not so sure. Besides the biological argument that you can do a simple blood test to find out if someone's a Jedi or not, there's also the feats argument because no human would be able to do or survive what a Jedi can. However, there's also the moral argument. I've never seen normal human beings display the level of depravity that a Jedi does. They all let the power go to their heads. They're worse than rogue cops.

Ven is a bit weird for a Jedi. Apparently he was exiled from the Jedi some time ago. Whether he knows it or not that was probably the best thing for him. He got to miss all the Jedi killing one another. He seems like an ok guy but he sort of freaks me out with the way he can talk to the droid.

And while I'm on that point, would droid manufacturers please stop making droids that don't speak basic. Yeah, you can make them pop and whistle but if they need to speak to me just give them a basic vocabulator or a screen so I can read the text. Something, Anything would be better then just trying to guess what the damn thing meant.

But, yeah, Ven can understand droids. Creepy.

As bad as that is, it only gets worse. Kreia is an old woman who's a Jedi. I didn't really notice it at first but she's also dead. What do I mean by dead? I mean, not alive. Her bodily functions don't function any more. She doesn't breath, eat, sleep, use the evacuator, or the refresher. I still surprised Ven hasn't noticed since he spends way more time with her than I do. On top of that, she doesn't have a heat signature either. She is literally a walking corpse much like the zombies that were trying to make us lunch. I mean make us into lunch not make lunch for us. You knew that, right?

Anyway, we're in route to Telos. You might be thinking that to be a very bad idea. We just escaped from their main source of fuel as it was exploding and they might decide that we did it, so yeah, bad idea. But we can't really go anywhere else. Like I said, the navi computer is busted and the only astrogation charts Peragus had were for Telos so that was the only place the droid could tell the ship to go. Technically, we could go somewhere else but we'd have to go sub light and that means at least two years of sitting in this ship. We don't have the food for that, nor the fuel. Yeah, I know we just left a giant fuel station but in the middle of running for our lives we sort of failed to check if the tank was filled up or not.

So, me, the corpse lady, the Jedi with no lightsaber, and a beeping droid are all going to Telos. Yeah! (sarcasm.) I get to spend three days trying to block two Jedi who can read minds from reading my mind and discovering that my last job was assassinating Jedi. It's a good thing we have a holonet connection.

Pilot's log two:

Wow, I forgot I started this thing. Where did I leave off? Oh, all the way back on the trip to Telos. Wow. That seems so long ago now.

Well, we're finally back in our ship. I'm guessing you figured that out since this is the ship's log I'm using. I can just see some over zealous police inspector thinking there's some deep dark piece of evidence that solves some long forgotten mystery behind all this encryption I'm using but that's really just to keep the Jedi out. They're good at manipulating flesh but programming in a computer, not so much.

Anyway, so the last thing I wrote before was about going to Telos. We arrived and sure enough they thought we destroyed Peragus. First they put us in force cages so I now officially declare that this ship is mine. I served time in jail for it, now it is mine. See that, it is mine. See all of these, they are mine.

The Telosians left us in jail just long enough for someone to try and kill us. I assume you can guess who won the fight. Though it really wasn't even a fight. The guy was doing a lot of talking about how bad he was. I had my hands up ready to fight it out and Ven did the same. But a physical fight never happened. As soon as the force fields dropped the assassin fell to the floor.

Without standing up, without even looking up at the person she was about to kill, Kreia had stopped his heart and snuffed out the guy's life.

Anyway, following this little incident, we were put into an apartment under guard for the better part of a week. A Telosian week not a standard week in case you're wondering. Much to the local government's annoyance the courts decided that we couldn't have destroyed Peragus. We should have been completely free men after that but no such luck. The government appealed their own court's ruling to Republic court and though we were then free to leave our apartment we were told to stay on the station.

And stay on the station we did but not by choice. As soon as we were free we made a bee line to the hanger to get my ship and get out of there. When we got to the hanger I discovered that the problem was two fold. First, and this really bugged me, Ven was seen as the leader of our party so legal ownership of the Ebon Hawk was given to him instead of all of us or as it should have been, just me. Look I fly the thing, I should own it.

Anyway, second the Ebon Hawk was gone. Yes, not sooner had our stolen ship become our legal property, (Ok, Ven's legal property but I've been meaning to have a chat with him about that) then it was promptly stolen from us. So we couldn't leave even if we wanted to.

It was at this point that an argument broke out among us as to what to do next. We couldn't stay there. Just because one judge was level headed enough to see the truth and give us justice doesn't mean the next one would be and I still had time on my sentence from Peragus that I was not eager to serve so we needed to get out of there. The Ebon Hawk was gone. Choppers probably flew it down to the planet to chop it for parts. That's likely what happened to the droid as well.

Ven stayed cool during everything and got us all to work. Well, got himself and me to work. He asked Kreia to go back to the apartment and meditate on the will of the Force. I think he was just trying to get rid of her.

So I went to the card table to see how many credits I could win in a day without driving off the other players. I managed to pull in 160 credits before I was too tired to keep my eyes open. Playing cards often feels more like a job and not like a game at all. When you go in expecting that you have to make a profit and can't just have fun then yeah, it becomes a job.

On my way back to the apartment was when I saw the body bags. Ven had made a deal with some aliens on the station to provide security for some droid they had. It might seem like a logical thing to ask a guy with a lightsaber to protect you but Ven doesn't have a lightsaber. In fact, he doesn't carry any weapons at all.

Ven is a nice guy. I like Ven. I sort of consider him like a friend if Jedi can have friends. But Ven isn't really a Jedi anymore. He's an exile. He seems to have developed a bit of an anger problem. Again, don't get me wrong. When he likes you and thinks you're on his side, you know he has your back and will always be happy to see you. But if you piss him off, he has a really strong "not going to take any shit from nobody" kind of attitude.

So Ven goes to the hanger to do the security thing and some guys show up with blasters to a fist fight. Ven killed all of them. He didn't let them surrender or run. He just flat out ended their lives with his bare hands.

Now that I think back on it, Ven killed two guys just during our initial mad dash to the hanger to get to the ship.

I tried not to let it bother me. The next day I went back to the card table and made 100 credits profit for my time. The day after that Ven told me that he was going to have a meeting with the exchange, the local organized crime boss. I asked him if he needed any backup but he told me it was more important that I get some credits and that he could handle it. I was worried for him the whole day. Sure, he took out those thugs in the hanger but this is the mafia, the real live mafia he was going up against.

I only made a 40 credit profit that day. I could have gotten a job tending bar and made more money than that. On my way to the room, I saw the mess. There were dozens of body bags stacked on top of each other and so much blood it was leaking all through the corridor. I didn't stay to gawk or to ask if Ven was in the pile. I just made my way to the room and there I saw Ven just meditating with Kreia like nothing was wrong.

After that I figured I'd stay near the guy to see if there was any way I could keep him calm and keep his anger in check. Even if I didn't really care about him, I needed his help to get away and he needed mine because there was no way the exchange would let the act of completely wiping out one of their bases of operations go without payback. So we were not only at war with the Telosian justice system and the Zombie sith but now also with the drug lords and slave traffickers.

A couple days later Ven got his next assignment from the aliens. They wanted him to get a droid from a rival company and reprogram it to sneak into their mainframe and download some incriminating evidence. At my insistence we talked through the problem instead of just going in there and using force. We bribed a guy, which the aliens paid for, then we paid off another guy's debt, which the aliens paid for again, and we were able to get the droid to their office without a shot being fired. So far so good.

But if you're thinking there weren't any body bags then you'd be wrong. They programmed the droid to lie. That was really the only way as bad as that idea sounds. The droid went in and in no time at all got the files we needed. Cool, so mission accomplished. Ha, not so fast. I don't know what happened but at least two people were killed and the corporation was all in an uproar. On top of that, instead of resetting the droid so it would always tell the truth like every droid is supposed to do, they just let a droid that can lie free to do as it liked.

After that I just threw my hands up and went back to cards. My goal was to get my totals to go up each day and with only one exception, that's what I did. 100 credit profit, then 120, then 250. Up and up until I was taking home nearly 1000 credits a day. I heard about the corporation retaliating against the aliens and Ven going in there to basically just kill all of them. I heard about the bounty hunting the local government asked Ven to do and trail of dead bodies he left in his wake. I heard about the smuggling operation and Ven leaving more dead bodies. If we didn't get off that station soon there wouldn't be anybody left to kill.

So the day finally came that the aliens wanted us gone so they got us a shuttle not a ship we could use to just leave the system with. Ven decided that he wanted to look for the Ebon Hawk. There was an entire planet to search but he somehow figured he could find it and Kreia backed him up. I thought they were both crazy but I wasn't going to stay on the station and wait for the exchange to show up and kill me so I tagged along. Besides, they needed me to pilot the thing.

I'll save you the details of how we were shot down and Ven was so angry at the idiots that shot us down that he spend the next two weeks stalking them through the jungle on the planet's surface and killing them one by one. They must have felt like they were in a horror novel.

We picked up another ally on the way. An alien but he speaks basic instead of a bunch of pops and clicks. His name is Bao. Yeah silly name but did I mention he speaks basic so that's a plus. Bao was some technician working on restoring things on Telos but got captured by the mercenaries who were trying to take over the surface.

So anyway, we fought through the fields, and fought through the jungle, and fought through some underground military base but we didn't find the Ebon Hawk. Just imagine my surprise. But we did get our hands on another shuttle and Bao did some deductions and figured the Ebon Hawk was in some suck location so I piloted the shuttle there.

And we were promptly shot down again.

Remember how I said there were assassin droid trying to kill us at Peragus. Did I mention that? If not, then I really should have. There was an assassin droid that tried to kill us on Peragus and on Telos there were now more of them for us to take out.

And then I was put in jail.

We had been shot down by the assassin droid near some Jedi school of sorts and the Jedi there put me in jail right next to Kreia but without Ven as a buffer to keep her away from me. So she starts talking and starts looking through my mind and the damn bitch found out I used to kill Jedi as a profession and now she wants to hold that over my head. Of course my more immediate concern was for all the people in the Jedi school who were likely going to be carried out in body bags if they got on Ven's bad side.

Some of the details are a bit fuzzy but after waiting in jail for so long that I fell asleep I woke up with Ven putting his arm around me and helping me get up and walk. Once I came back to my senses Ven and I helped Bao get up. He was sporting a really bad leg injury and I'd need to treat him. Great, so I get to be the ship's doctor.

But the good news was that we had finally found the Ebon Hawk and it was legally our ship, and no one was dead that I could see. Ven made sure we were free to leave and we even got our astromech droid back.

And then we actually got back onto our ship and found out we had almost no gas. The lovely ladies of the Jedi school, who all showed signs of taking a severely violent beating very recently, must have lapped the system eight or nine times because we were flying on fumes.

And so that's where we are now. Bao is in the med bay recovering, the droid is going about allegedly fixing things, Ven is cleaning up the ship and Kreia and taking up an entire bunk room for herself. Oh, and I'm sitting in the cockpit leaving this message because I've got nothing better to do.

We're sitting out here at the very edge of the system. The star is so far way it just looks like a bright star from this distance. We can't stay out here forever. Even if we had enough food to last any significant amount of time, we just don't have the fuel to stay out this far. We're going to have to go back to Telos eventually. Our best bet right now is to try to find a way to buy fuel off station. If we go back to Citadel station we're in big trouble and we might find ourselves in jail again or worse.

Pilot's log three

Here's an interesting fun fact about space travel. If your ship is already warm, it should stay warm for a long time. Just because you're out in a very cold area of space doesn't mean your ship will freeze if you stay out there for too long. It'll normally take a long time, something like years, for the ship to cool down. It's the same reason if you're in a spacesuit with a broken heat regulator that you're actually in danger of over heating and dieing of heat stroke rather than hypothermia.

Don't ask me why. I don't know. I just know that's how space travel works. It's related to the reason you never land on icy asteroids and you stay clear of gas clouds.

Well, that's how space travel is supposed to work. That's not how this trip is going however. Whoever built the Ebon Hawk designed for smuggling. Which means that there's a setting we can switch on or off that will force the ship to cool down so that other ships can't see our heat. We didn't know that setting was even there and the good ladies of the ice academy of Telos must have turned in on because it sure wasn't active on our first trip to Telos.

As you might heave guessed, the ship is getting really cold. Now that we've found the thing and reset it to normal Ven wants to see if we can heat the ship up again with the fuel we have but so far it's been a loosing battle. The only one of use that's comfortable is Bao because the bed in the medbay has its own heat. I guess Kreia might be comfortable too. Can a corpse feel the cold?

Anyway, our T3 droid has ice on it's wheels and I can't feel my fingers.

Pilot's log four

This is ridiculous. We've been freezing out here for four days. Four days. We really only have enough fuel for one trip so once we get the engines started again we pretty much have to go back to citadel station.

I was really hoping that we could buy a bit of fuel from a passing ship but no such luck. Even if Ven doesn't give the ok I'm about ready to take us back.

 **Pilot's log five**

Well, it looks like I found a solution to our heating problem. In space normally you don't want to park your ship on something since that something is probably cold and will leech your heat. So unless you just want to burn fuel to keep warm or actually want to be cold so other ships can't detect you, you really just want to float in space.

Well, I'm parking my ship onto something. You might think that would be a bad idea but the heat transfer can go both ways. I found a nice bit of rock and blasted it till it was good and hot. Then I just landed us and hooked on to make a solid physical connection. It'll take a bit of time for the heat to really work its way through the ship but my fingers aren't numb any more.

 **Pilot's log six**

Amazingly, we're still out here. I was expecting to have to go back to Citadel after Bao got back on his feet. If it were me I'd demand to be taken home right away. But no. Bao and Ven started talking about the war while the Zabrak went about fixing things on the ship. The guy actually seems perfectly comfortable with the fact that we sort of kidnapped him.

For the most part he leaves me alone and just ask T3 or Ven to help him. I wonder if he doesn't like me. Like everyone else he probably thought it was Ven who helped him recover. He probably thinks Ven pilots the ship too. Of course if we get shot down then everyone will remember that I was actually at the controls but if it's smooth sailing then Ven gets the glory.

I shouldn't be mad about it. Truth is, I'm staying out of the way and I guess Bao just doesn't want to bother me. Still, I'd rather have someone to talk to than have to constantly count to infinity to keep the dead lady out of my head.

Pilot's log seven

We're officially on our last week's worth of food. That means it's time to head back to Citadel pretty much no matter what. It's just as well. Bao seems to have fixed everything he could from inside the ship. We'll have to dock if he wants to do anything else or give the ship a major overhaul.

This is kind of funny. Ven and Bao got so bored with nothing to do that they started meditating together. If Ven thinks he's going to make a Jedi out of the alien then he's got a rude awakening coming. I checked Bao's blood when he was in medbay. The guy just doesn't have the midi something ( I forgot the work but you know the things that you have to be born with that let you use the force). Anyway, Bao doesn't have the ability to use the force and never will.

As for myself, well I happen to know that the force is a possibility but I don't want to think about that right now. In fact, since I can ever be sure when the damn Jedi are reading my mind or not I should really probably never think about it.

Then again, it isn't like I've ever run that blood test on myself. Maybe I should.

Pilot's log eight

Yay (sarcasm) we're back on Citadel station. I half expected to be put in jail again but amazingly the Republic courts agreed with the Telosian courts that we were innocent and so all charges have been dropped. They aren't even angry that we left when we weren't supposed to. Ok, they were sort of peeved about it but since all charges were dropped they're going to overlook it.

So we're free and Bao can have a chance to look the ship over from the outside and do some work. He'll have a good like while too because we're going to be stuck here. Fuel prices have skyrocketed and the hanger fee is going to slowly make us paupers. I'm going to have to hit the card table hard.

It was really funny to see how Kreia got all upset at the fact that we came back here. She went off about how this place had served its purpose and we should move on. She just does not get that we need fuel to travel and fuel is recently very expensive.

 **Pilot's log nine**

We've been in Citadel for a week and to my utter shock there have been no more dead bodies. Looks like Ven just needed someone besides the witch to talk to.

There may not be any dead bodies but there are a few damaged droids. Some more of those assassin droids found us and attacked but we took them out.

Even with the hanger fees being what they are and everyone including us buying every last bit of fuel just as soon as it gets here, I'm still managing to keep us from going into debt. I moved to the 500 credit betting table which is the top tier here. The maximum bet you can legally have here is 1000 credits anyway.

So I spend all day gambling while Ven and Bao work on the ship and meditate when they don't have the parts to do any more work. I haven't physically seen the old woman in a week which is just fine by me and the droid has even been polite to me. I could say I'm almost content but I know full well we can't stay here that long. The exchange is going to come looking into what happened here.

Anway, if I can keep up my game we should be out of here in three or four more days tops.

Pilot's log ten

Fracking help man. What the moth up funk is this shrimp?

So, I'm not happy. I'm really not happy.

I guess I should tell you why I'm not happy instead of just screaming into the controls. So yesterday I was playing cards and at the very end of the day this alien guy that I could not understand comes up to me and says he wants to play. I'd seen him around before. He's some really rich guy who sort of a thrill seeker. He doesn't care if he wins or loses just so long as he can have something to get excited about.

Anyway, the guy wants to play cards but as soon as I put up my 500 he waves his hand and wants to change the bet. The bar droid came over to be a translator and the droid told me the guy wanted to play for 1000 credits, the legal limit. So I said sure. I did a quick calculation in my head and figured if I lost then it would just set me back half a day but if I won then we'd be out of there just as soon I could get a nap and get the T3 plugged into the navi computer.

So we played and the guy lost. He looked really happy to lose too. So I sat there waiting for him to give me my credits but it didn't happen. It was a legal bet and because the stakes were so high we had to register it before the cards even hit the table. We had multiple witnesses and I'm sure the entire conversation was captured on multiple videos. There was no way the guy was going to get out of paying me.

I asked for my credits but the guy acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. I was about to call over the police when the droid informed me that the guy wasn't betting 1000 credits. Only I was betting 1000 credits. The guy was betting something else.

You're not going to believe this. The guy had actually put up ownership of a slave against my 1000 credits and the droid didn't translate it properly. So not only was I out 1000 credits that were supposed to be mine but now I was the proud owner of some slave that I was going to be legally responsible for.

I was pissed and I did not want to own a slave. The guy brought the girl to me. She wasn't bad looking and from her records she was 19. I asked her for her name but she just started talking the same gibberish alien language as the other guy.

Well, I thought I had a solution to the problem. I brought the girl to the TSF station and told them I didn't want to own a slave and asked what my options were to get rid of her. That was when I got to know all the counterintuitive and convoluted mess that is the Telosian laws on slavery.

It turns out I can force her to work obviously but I can also beat the girl provided I don't kill her, force her into prostitution which is only legal for slaves, harvest organs from her and sell them, and even drink her blood as a food source if I was into that sort of thing. However, I can not just set her free and I can't marry her. I have to give consent if someone else wants to marry her but I can't marry her myself. If someone wants to marry her then they have to pay me for the privilege and any children would be owned by me. If I want to set her free then I have to pay a tax to the TSF pretty much equal to her value which is something like 50,000 credits. If I ditch her on Telos then the TSF will put her in jail and I'll have to pay for that the next time I come here.

So, yeah, I own a slave now. Sucks to be me. Of course I can always just ditch her on Narshadda if we ever fly that way. Then again we really probably shouldn't go to Narshadda with the exchange bounty on Jedi being so large and the fact that Ven killed one of their bosses.

Pilot's log eleven

WHY? ME?!

We were almost ready to leave. We didn't really have enough fuel to go anywhere but Narshadda but nonetheless we could have gone there on the down low, gotten some cheaper fuel and then literally flown to anywhere else in the galaxy.

But before we leave I get word that Bao wants to come with us. Ok, so far so good. I'll fly the ship and Bao can keep it running while also making sure the droid doesn't go crazy on us.

Do you remember how we got shot down a long time ago in the arctic of Telos and some jedi students who I later found out were not actually studying to be jedi … What was I saying?

Oh, right. So one of the girls from the arctic Jedi school with no real students showed up wanting to know what we did with something or another. Judging by her face, I'm guessing she was smart enough not to let Ven beat her up when last we visited.

So instead of leaving, Ven wants to stay for a few more days, time that give the exchange even longer to track us down and kill us, yes, Ven wants to spend a few days sitting her so he can find out what the girl wants. I know what I want. I want to lock her out of the ship and then open the hanger field. Might be funny to see her body go flying out into space.

Whatever Ven wants with her, he better hurry up because I'm really sick of this place and as much as I like Ven, he may just find himself stranded here until I decide to come back and get him.

… … … …

The droid looked over the information on the pad. "Here is the information you requested. You have been a registered resident of Telos for six years. Your family registry was moved to Telos from Coruscant by Atris Veneficus. She is currently listed as head of household. There have been no other changes to your family registry."

Ven looked smug and looked back over his shoulder at the Atris' handmaiden and his droid. "Thank you." said Ven to the administration droid. "Can I get a copy of that?"

"Certainly. There is a 3 credit charge."

"Say, would it be possible to change the head of household, since I'm in town today. We've been meaning to get it done for a while now but didn't know what we'd need to do."

"Certainly. Whichever family member has the highest income should be listed as head of household for accurate tax processing and record keeping."

"Well, that would be me."

"I can make the change for you now. It will show up on the family registry when it is printed to the data pad."

"Excellent. You've been so helpful. Thank you."

"It is my pleasure to serve you sir."

Ven took the pad when it was done being imprinted with the data and proceeded to leave followed by the other two.

"I fail to understand what that exchange was about." said the girl.

"Look, I left Atris alone for years. She could have done whatever she wanted. She's the one who inserted herself into my life. And even then, I was going to wish her well and just leave. But if she wants to mess with me by sending you to spy on me then I'm going to mess with her."

"I will not give you the access codes to land at the academy."

"Did I ask for the access codes?"

"No, but whatever your plan I will not allow you to disrupt or interfere in Atris' mission."

"Watch and learn kid. T3, do you still have the bank account number for madame snowman? … Good. Let's go get some revenge."

"What exactly are you planning to do?" asked the girl.

"Gee, I don't know. I figured I'd go check and see how much we have saved up in the bank since we need to buy some more fuel and other supplies before we depart."

"How will that enact revenge on Atris? I still do not understand."

Ven ignored her remarks and began to address the teller droid at the bank. "Hello my friend. How they treating you?"

"Very well sir. How can I help you today?"

"I just need to do a quick transfer. T3 has the account numbers."

"I see. I'll be happy to process this for you."

"Say, how's B4?"

"He's doing very, sir. He came around yesterday and gave all the droids some money of our very own. It wasn't much but somehow, actually owning something of my own is … fascinating."

"Oh, that's nice. Kind of sounds like a holiday."

"Sir, I'm sorry to inform you that you are not listed on one of the accounts you wish to have access to."

"Oh, I thought this might happen. That Atris, always messing up her paperwork. Here's a copy of the family registry and before you ask just look at the time stamp. You can check with the court database and you'll see there's nothing filed."

"I see. I can give you access to the account."

"No" yelled the girl as she finally figured out the gist of what was happening. "Those are Atris' credits. I can not allow you to steal them."

"What are you talking about?" asked Ven.

"Is this your wife, sir?" asked the droid.

"No, she's just the maid."

"Ah. Then I'm sorry, ma'am. I have to do as the account owner wants in accordance with the law. Sir, might I suggest replacing her with droid housekeeping in the future. We would never give you such back talk."

"I'll consider it."

"How much would you like to transfer?"

"I can not allow this." said the girl. Ven looked over to her and let his hand tell the droid to give her a moment to speak. "You have to stop." she said.

Ven waited and let a smile come to his face. "Anyway" he turned his attention again to the banking droid "the legal account holder would like half and a new bank chip for my datapad. My old one was destroyed when Peragus exploded."

"I see. I heard about that incident. Such loss of life. It's a shame."

"Oh and can you make sure Atris gets a new chip as well. I don't keep track of her things so I don't know if she needs one or not but …"

"I will have the chip ready for her the next time she comes in. Will there be anything else, sir?"

"No, that's all for today. … Wait, actually, could you send 1000 credits to B4? I want him to know I appreciate what he's doing."

"Certainly, sir."

Once the transfer was complete Ven took his leave while T3 and the bank droid exchanged some parting words.

"What just happened in there? How did you do that? Was it a Jedi trick?"

"No. Jedi tricks don't work on droid. At least I don't think so."

"Then what did you do?"

"Atris put me on her family registry a long time ago. It wasn't my idea, she asked me. She could have easily kicked me off at any time in the last ten years but she didn't and she even moved my legal residence from Coruscant to Telos. So fine. If she wants to do the checking up thing and have you follow me around and report on what I'm doing then I'm going to take half her money, which is … Wow, a lot. Look at that."

The girl pushed the datapad out of her face. "It is still theft."

"How?"

"I don't know but you must have manipulated the system in some way. Atris will be very angry when she finds out."

"Oh, I hope so. But she has no one to blame but herself. I left her alone for ten years and in all that time she kept my name on her family registry. And then, when I finally show up again instead of greeting me like family she puts my friends in jail."

"Is that why you injured my sisters?"

"No, that was their fault."

"How so? They only meant to spar with you and you …"

"The stated rule was no killing. It didn't say anything about maiming."

"That is no reason to cripple …"

"Some stupid girl who threw herself in the path of my violence. If I have to fight I don't play around and I don't hold back. If they hadn't specifically stated that I couldn't kill them then they'd be dead."

"There is much you need to learn about restraint."

"Maybe so but not from them and not from Atris. She's the reason I had to spend the last ten years out on the edge of space fighting for my life every day. EVERY DAY. So if someone wants to fight I go for the kill. I've seen too many of my brothers and sister die and I won't suffer that again. If your sisters couldn't defeat me, then they're really no use to Atris. They can't protect her."

"Atris is a Jedi. She doesn't need protecting."

"Everyone needs protecting. Don't ever forget that. And if you're going to be traveling with us then you need to learn that fast. If you go with us that means you are with us, on our team. I expect you to protect me the same I will protect you. So you better get in line or you can just stay here and wait for Atris to send a transport for you."

"You want me to fight with you?"

"We're going into danger. So … yeah, I expect you to fight and not just watch as some assassin or monster or any other nonsense tries to kill me. You're either with me or you can stay here."

"Then I am with you."

"Good, and you can start by being on my side in this financial transaction."

"I don't understand."

"You don't need to understand, just be on my side and don't call me a thief. Next, T3 said you were a soldier. What was your rank and specialization?"

"I was a private. I specialized in hand to hand combat."

"Family tradition, huh? Well, I want you to work with Atton. He flies the ship and you man the weapons. I need you familiar with every weapon system we have on board. I'm putting you in charge of security."

"Uh, … I will do my best."

"Soldier?"

"Sir."

Pilot's log twelve

Yay! We've finally left Telos. We're heavy one slave girl who should be cleaning the ship but I'm not sure if she understood what I told her. We're also heavy one ice queen that Ven says he wants in work the guns, like that's a good idea. She's not on our side, she's a spy for that arctic academy psycho.

We also have an old droid. I wanted to throw it out but Ven said to keep it. He wants to see if he can fix it by using parts from those assassin droid. Yeah, that's a good idea.

But this is a little bit of good that came out of all this. Kreia isn't happy. She just did not want the girl, whose name I never bothered to ask. Kreia did not want her to come with us. She came out of her cave and let out a little hissy fit and Ven totally told her off. I was so happy to see that.

Oh, and I should mention the slave girl isn't just good at dancing, she can cook too. I don't know what this is but it is good. It's some kind of crustacean meat in a fruit or vegetable sauce on top of rice.

I was reading over the slavery laws again, just to make sure I understood them and didn't get suckered into jail time. I turns out I actually can marry the slave girl, provided I pay the tax and free her first. It doesn't spell that out specifically but if you take the law at face value then you could make it work out that way.

Of course what I'm really after is finding a way to free her without giving Telos my life savings. Then again, could sell her. We could go to a world with no transfer tax and I could sell her back and forth with Ven a few time, making her price drop each time.

See, each slave has a listed market value and in order to prevent someone from just selling a slave for 1 credit just to give them their freedom the law says you can't sell a slave for less than 80% of their market value. I'm sure someone thought it was a smart policy but it also means that if a slave gets sick or injured and can no longer work which would mean they were worth a lot less, they still can't be sold for less than 80% so the owner gets stuck with them and it can lead to all sorts of abuse.

But here's the thing. Once you are able to sell a slave for only 80% of her value, that lower value becomes the new market value. It's impractical to sell a slave back and forth on Telos since you have to pay a sales tax each time and in the end it's actually just cheaper to pay the freedom tax.

Ah, but not every world has a sales tax. Narshadda for example does not and that's where we're going because Ven wants to prove that he's not scared of anyone and "ain't going to take no shit from nobody."

I can't just free the girl on Narshadda since that would mean I'd still have to pay the freedom tax when I got back to Telos or I'd have to just never go there again. But the Telos sales tax doesn't extend to Narshadda. Ven and I can sell the girl repeatedly there, register the sale each time, and eventually get her listed market value down to one credit. Some worlds have laws that list a minimum value a slave can have but not Narshadda and not Telos so this should work.

So, that's my plan. Then the girl can have her freedom. So I better get her to cook as often as I can until then.

Pilot's log thirteen

Well, it looks like the girl who was smart enough not to have Ven beat her up on Telos has decided she didn't want to miss out and challenged Ven to a sparring match. So now she's in medbay and I have to look after her.

Pilot's log fourteen

This is weird. And just for the record, I'm not a doctor or in any way a trained medic so anyone I look after should just be happy I'm not so incompetent that I kill them.

Anyway, I did a blood test on the girl to see if she was Jedi. If she's in charge of our guns then I'd like to know the sort of person I'm dealing with. So I did the test and her count was a little higher than Bao but still pretty low. While I was doing the test I remembered that I wanted to test myself so I did.

The result was such a shock that I ran the test two more times just to be sure. I have even fewer of the force powers microbes than Bao does. But how can that be?

Under the pretext of getting more medically prepared in case we have any medical emergencies that I will have to look after, I asked for blood samples from Ven and Bao so I could run the test again. I didn't ask Kraia since I already know everything in her blood is dead. Bao came up with the same number as before but the real shocker is Ven.

His count was 0. Yes. This surprised me so much that I even asked him to come to medbay and watch me do the test and make sure I was doing it right. He wasn't offended like I thought he'd be. But he explained that he hasn't had the midi somethings in his blood since Malacor V. Apparently you don't actually need them to use the force which is a thought that scares me out of my mind.

But I don't understand. I mean … Ok look, a long time ago someone told me I could use the force. I didn't really believe them at the time but then something happened and well it sort of convinced me that it should be at least possible for me to use the force. But then why was my count so low? And if Ven is right and you don't need the blood microbes to use the force then we're really all just the same, so why was I singled out as potential Jedi? I don't get it and it feels like people are playing with my mind.

Pilot's log fifteen

Well, here we are. Narshadda. Love it or hate it, there's always something interesting to do.

Pilot's log sixteen

Our first day on the moon was interesting. Ven looked like he wanted to go start some trouble so I stepped to the side and found a nice little place where I could play cards just for fun and watch the racing on the view screen. The slave girl decided to keep me company. She got talking with some of the wait staff and before I knew what had happened the dancers were buying me free drinks. At least I hope they were free because I sure didn't pay for them.

Anyway, instead of Ven marching off into danger and leaving a bunch of dead bodies everywhere, he actually played it cool today. The biggest thing that happened was he got into an argument with Kreia over giving money to a homeless guy. It always makes me happy when Ven disagrees with her. It just fills me with all kinds of joy that I wasn't even sure I was still capable of.

So that's the good news. The bad news is that it looks like Bao is a Jedi now. He finally figured out how to move things in the air and he's made his own lightsaber. So that means Ven has to carry one too now so he can properly teach Bao how to use the thing and cut off his other arm. Did I mention that Bao is missing an arm? Yeah well, he is but Jedi seem to get their arms cut off a lot so … anyway.

One thing that has also happened again is the arctic girl sparing with Ven. He didn't put her in medbay this time but it looks like she's got a limp she'll have to watch for the next few days.

All in all, while it was an interesting day, it was a lot quieter and peaceful here on Narshadda than you'd expect with the exchange wanting to kill us all.

Pilot's log seventeen

Nothing is ever allowed to be easy is it? This was the worst day, I mean it. Think of a day that was really bad and then multiply that by the max and you get this.

So Ven takes Bao off to go do some Jedi stuff away from Kreia because Kreia for some reason didn't approve of no longer being the only one handed Jedi on board. She thinks only humans can really be Jedi and she was all like, the alien this and the alien that. I wanted to high five the Zabrak just for pissing her off.

Anyway, while Ven and Bao were gone, our "chief of security" totally dropped the ball. Instead of … I don't know .. securing the blasted ship, she was in her underwear in the cargo hold doing kata when we were boarded.

Ah, boarded by who? you ask. We were boarded by a bunch of slave traffickers looking to put us on the market. So things looked bad.

It was actually sort of comical when some homeless guy saw our boarding ramp down and decided to just come on board and claim the ship as his own. We ran into the guy yesterday but I didn't even give him a thought. Dude come on board talking his smack about how he's really the owner of the ship and then the slaver got him.

So, anyway, it looked bad. We were all tied up in the cargo hold. All accept Kreia since they just thought she was already dead. Considering the fact that we were all stripped naked I'm really glad they didn't put her in there with us.

I guess I should explain how we were so easily overpowered. They used a nerve gas to knock us all out. Trust me, that was the only way they would have been able to take me without a fight.

The slavers were really efficient. You could tell they didn't want to hurt us or damage anything. They just wanted to sell us. T3 was fitted with a restraining bolt, the homeless guy was thankfully taken outside to be hosed down because he stunk. That left me tied up with the slave girl's belly pressed against my back and the arctic girl's … chest, ahem, in my face.

The three of us tried wiggling to get free of our ropes but it only made the situation worse. I thought I was able to get to my feet and maybe carry the both of them but I lost my balance, we all three of us fell. The new configuration we were in was even worse than the first. I'll save you the details but let's just say that certain people did not take kindly to certain body parts smacking them in the face and as the male of the group it fell to me to explain that in biology there are some things that are automatic and unconscious that we men have no control over.

Now you might be thinking that since I'm leaving this message, obviously we weren't sold. You might be thinking that Ven came and save us. Well, eventually he did. Before Ven showed up however there was this blind girl. Well, blind might not be the right word. She didn't have any eyes to begin with but she can see but I'm getting ahead of myself.

This girl shows up and she's got a lightsaber. Ever seen what a lightsaber does to people who don't carry one? She was cutting people in half left and right. I watched the surveillance footage afterwards and for all the efficiency of the slavers to keep us unhurt so we could be sold, she was that and more and killing them. She only paused at the very end when there was only the last guy on the ship. In a whisper she demanded to know where the Jedi was but when the guy said he didn't know she just killed the homeless guy and then pointed the lightsaber at the slaver and demanded again.

That's when Ven showed up. Bao was still off doing something, I still don't know what. Ven didn't have a lightsaber on him but damn if I didn't see him actually fight the assassin with just his bare hands and win.

I thought he was going to kill her but he didn't. He punched her until she passed out and then put her in medbay. Then, after releasing me, before I even had a chance to put some clothes on, he wanted me in medbay looking after her.

Oh, and if you're wondering if she had the midi whatever crap in her blood, yeah, boatloads of the stuff.

Pilot's log eighteen

The Red Eclipse. That was the name of the gang that tried to kidnap and sell us. Well, here's some news. Ven took the last survivor and went to their base of operations. He had to kill like fifteen guys just to get in and be taken seriously.

Ven demanded ten percent. He wasn't asking for money but assured them he'd be back for some of that later. He wanted ten percent of them. He killed five percent and sold the other five percent into slavery along with their families. The rest he insisted would all work for Ven until they died and if any of them tried to get out of their service to him he'd hunt them down and kill them after killing another five percent of the gang that did not leave and selling another five percent into slavery.

Yeah, don't get on Ven's bad side I guess.

Pilot's log nineteen

I almost got into a fight with the arctic girl today. All I was doing was just getting some of the food stock to refill what was used up in the kitchen and she just lunged at me.

Look, I'm ex military. I know how to defend myself and I wasn't about to just let her have a free hit. Of course that turned into this big thing of her asking where I was trained.

Why can't they all just understand that I don't want to talk about it. I'm a different person now. I'm literally a different person now. If I trusted them enough to tell then I'd have told them already instead of being at the beck and call of the dead lady just so she'll keep her mouth shut.

Anyway, I really hope girl swinging at me counts as a fight and not a sparring match. I don't want to have her getting all googly eyed at me and thinking we have to get married. It's bad enough that the few times I do get a bunk to sleep in I have to share it with the slave girl.

Then again, we did technically free her so she isn't a slave girl anymore. I have the confirmation from Telos that the tax was paid. We made sure to go through a droid since a human would have looked at the information on the document and realized something was up but a droid just went by the numbers presented and now the girl is as free as anyone else.

She still doesn't want to leave though. She seems scared to go anywhere else. So she cleans the ship and cooks. Any time she gets scared of something she runs to me.

I actually tried to pass her off to Bao but that guy's been so into his new Jedi thing that he barely noticed. So she keeps me company, well … not really. We don't speak the same language. Ven can talk to her because Ven was a protocol droid in his past life but not me. But she hangs around me and bats her eyes to look pretty. And she is pretty. Of course she's pretty. It's just … I don't know. I wish I knew what she was really thinking … or thought of me.

Pilot's log twenty

We've had a change to the crew. Our assassin droid that was inoperable that Ven was going to work on as a hobby is fully functional now and it's a smart ass. Ven put it on guard duty so we don't have any more unauthorized boarding incidents.

As for the girl who was supposed to be in charge of security, Ven asked me if I thought she would make a good Jedi. I course the answer is no. I need fewer Jedi around me, not more. Even Ven admitted he read my mind. He apologized, which was a new one on me, but still I don't want people reading my mind or even being able to read my mind.

But I'm pretty sure the arctic girl took some sort of vow not to become a Jedi. I do actually recall hearing that. I'll find a way to ask to make sure. Now there's word going around the ship that her mom was a Jedi. I have a bad feeling about this.

Pilot's log twenty one

Assassin girl is up and walking around a last. For a stone cold killer she passes herself off as shy. We figured it was best to keep her separate from Kreia so we put her on the other side of the ship. So now when I go to sleep I get a nice view of miss hack and slash meditating in the corner.

Then again, she did go out of her way to find me in the cockpit and thank me for looking after her. Maybe she isn't so bad. It's way more appreciation than I got from the Echani shutta.

Pilot's log twenty two

Ven got tired of not really making any headway with the exchange so he went and found one of their bosses here and pretty much did the same thing he did on Telos but on a much bigger scale. I heard the commotion from the refugee sector and people were running away for their lives. The exchange hired some ex military guys to go after Ven but he just wiped them out too. Once they were all dead he organized the refugees, redistributed the weapons, and had them throw all the bodies over the sides of the buildings. He's still over there for a second day trying to figure out who he wants to pick to be the leader of the new armed refugee mob he's created.

As for me, I'm glad Ven's on my side.

Pilot's log twenty three

A lot has happened. I've been staying away from making any logs because you know, I guess I just didn't feel like it.

Ven came back from the refugee sector and he started asking all kinds of questions about my past. Yeah, and you know how much I just love talking about my past. I tried to dodge but Ven broke me down and so I told him. I told him how I used to kill Jedi for the Sith. I told him how they were going to make me a dark Jedi. I told him how I kill my last Jedi and got to see the force, well part of it.

Amazing as it sounds, I actually felt really relieved to get all that off my chest.

Of course I went to Kreia to let her know I didn't really want to be her lap dog anymore but she shut me down. Even now that she doesn't even have anything over my head anymore she still insist on bossing me around. I would say that I'd wish for her to just die but she's already dead.

So I watched as Visas, that's the assassin girl with no eyes, and Bao sort of become Ven's Jedi students much to Kreia's displeasure. Not to be outdone by them, the arctic girl tried to interject herself into the mix and the next thing I knew, now she's a Jedi.

Do I really think she's a Jedi? No. I saw Bao sort of use his "powers" but there's a long road from that to doing what I've seen Jedi do. I know Visas is already sort of Jedi but the other girl. Yeah, I think it's just a title she's picking up and putting on herself just to try to fit in. Poor girl. I almost feel sorry for her.

I have to admit, I really like not being the center of attention. Visas and Arctic are having little cat fights and Kreia is pissed that Ven is teaching them anything at all. She was really, I mean really against Arctic becoming Jedi. But look Kreia's not her mom so she doesn't get a say. That's what I think. As much as I hate to side with Arctic and as much as I hate the idea of even more Jedi around me, I just love seeing Kreia lose so much that I'm actually going to defend her on this. You go arctic girl. You go be a Jedi. Sure you can be a Jedi if you want to.

Hey, maybe slave girl can be a Jedi too. I better not think that too loudly or Ven will hear it and think it's a good idea. You know, she needs a better name than slave girl. I think she calls herself Ram something. I don't want to be disrespectful and just call her Ram, or Ramma if that isn't her whole name but I suppose for this log entry it's sufficient.

Anyway, so we were now five Jedi strong and since sparring girl is a Jedi now, she's practicing her meditating and fighting with Bao instead of Ven so hopefully that wannabe romance is over.

I dare say things were almost about to be settled and we were going to fly off to another system when we got word that the upper level bosses of the exchange wanted to have a sit down about the bounty on Jedi. I knew it was a trap but Ven went in anyway. While he was gone, several waves of asshole bounty hunters went after us but with two students in training, an assassin, and the walking dead defending the ship we took them out easily.

Heck, in the cantina two dancers turned out to be bounty hunters in disguise but wouldn't you know the slaver guys came to my rescue, as did the other legit dancers.

Anyway, as it turned out, there was this other bounty hunter named Mira who threw a monkey wrench into the party and a lot of people died. Ven got taken up to the big boss' ship and we had to rig up a plan to save him.

Of course when we got there he didn't really need saving. There wasn't anyone alive on the ship but Ven. I couldn't even figure out what he did with the bodies. He probably blew them out the airlock.

So, long story short, some exchange guy name Goto wants Ven to save the republic and after we destroyed his ship he left us with some stupid floaty droid thing to communicate with us. Well, Ven knew exactly what to do with that. He shocked it, disabled it, opened it up to make sure it wasn't a threat to us, and then stripped it down for parts. I think Ven must have damaged the thing's communications in the process. Even though Ven insist it's all working right, we haven't heard from Goto since.

So, all's well that ends well, right. Bounty hunter girl, sorry … Mira. I guess since I know her name I should use her name if I don't want to be called pilot boy in the future. Anyway, Mira unilaterally decided to just join the crew so Ven put her in charge of security and so far, she's doing a way better job than arctic girl.

What? What do you want from me. I don't know her name.

Pilot's log twenty four

Now Ven is just taunting me and it's pissing me off. New person added to the crew so what does Ven do? Good question. What do you think Ven did? I'll give you a hint, the same thing he did with Bao and the other girl. Still haven't guessed.

He turned her into a Jedi. Sure, he let her just hang on the ship for a month before he even brought it up. We even did a couple of random freight jobs just to lock in the ship's cover identity now that we've got new transponder codes. But once he brought it up, the subject just came up over and over again. Then he takes her back to Narshadda, they go on a little hike together and the next thing you know, now she wants her little Jedi label too. This is making me sick. Everyone's in the club but me.

Pilot's log twenty five

AAHH. If one more Jedi joins this crew I'm quitting. We run a bit of freight to Dantoine. Ven takes his students on a field trip to the old busted up Jedi academy. Then when they come back, they have in tow some Jedi fanboy who just wants ever so much for someone to train him. Somehow the guy just knew Ven was looking to find and train more Jedi. So Ven says sure and now he on board.

Dude's name is Mical and I guess he's not so bad. Well, maybe he is but he knows a lot more about medicine than I do so if anyone gets injured doing their Jedi crap then he can take care of them instead of me and I can just worry about flying the ship.

Pilot's log twenty six

Well, someone got injured and I have to look after them. How can that be? you ask. Simple. Mical got his hat handed to him when he tried to spar … Ok, I still don't know her name. Fine, so from now on her name is ice queen. Nah, that's too long. Ok, Fridge, or maybe, Freeza. Icy? Snowgirl. No. Echani. That sounds racist. I know, blondy. I mean really, how did she get hair so white.

Ok, so Blondy and Mical did a little Jedi training sparring match and Blondy beat the snot out of him ala what Ven did to her the first time and now he's in medbay.

Pilot's log twenty seven

I've been thinking about this and I think it's time for me to go. I can't stand Kreia always belittling me and barking orders at me. I can't stand not being appreciated for what I do. I can't stand that the ship has become a mobile Jedi academy. This isn't me and the guys they all want to go up against, well, I'm not totally convinced we can win. How do you kill something that's already dead?

I seriously asking that question and not just because I want Kreia out of my life.

Look, I've more than enough skill and ability to go get a normal job. Mira knows how to fly the ship. They can just let her do it. I can't take this anymore. Sure Ven is a nice guy but he kills a lot of people and I'm not comfortable with that. And besides him the only one I really get to talk to is Ramma and she can't understand a word I'm saying.

Maybe this life just isn't for me. I should really just go work hauling freight. That's not a bad job and I seem to be cut out for it. As it is, with everyone building their own lightsabers I'm more of a liability in this group. I'm just above the droids in usefulness and that's not where I want to be. I'll see what I have in the bank, make some contacts and make a plan.

… … …

Mira watched as the pilot guy stood and stared at Ven. He looked sad and eventually lowered his head and walked away. Mira followed at a distance back to the cockpit. He sat there trying to look like he was relaxing but Mira knew he wasn't relaxing. His mind never stopped the endless stream of junk information and now that Mira could hear more than just with her ears she quickly learned that this guy's station was really just static.

"It smells like your pet is cooking up another wonder for us all to taste."

"She has a name you know."

"I know. I don't think she'll be finished for at least half an hour. You finally

get some time to yourself."

"Yeah, and what else is new?"

"New. Well, is there a switch to lock out the bridge?"

"The cockpit, sure. But it doesn't really lock since you can just put the code in

from the communications room and open it."

"You wouldn't happen to know how to stop that would you?"

"Why? What do you have in mind? You're not planning on stealing my ship are you?"

"I'm just asking. What if we needed to defend the ship from invaders."

"Well, it can be done but …"

"And what about the cameras?"

"Oh, well, funny enough I can turn those off right here. In fact I usually just keep them off when I'm up here."

"Great, so is there a way to tint the windows?"

"So you want to hold people off and keep them from looking in here."

"The less the enemy knows about us and our position the better."

"Right there. That will make the glass opaque. Happy?"

"Not yet."

Now that they had some privacy, Mira unzipped her top and put herself onto his lap.

"Uh, what's up?" he asked.

"Look, don't go getting some kind of crush on me. Ok."

"You're the one coming onto me."

"It's been a long time for me and I can tell it's been a long time for you. Let's just both understand what this is and not make a mess of things."

"So then what is this exactly?"

"This is exactly what you think it is. No dates or talking about getting married. I have a need and you do too so let's keep it on the down low so we can ease the tension."

"Why me? Wouldn't you want to be with one of the other Jedi?"

"Who? Ven? He's cute and all but he's got too much … just too much something. I can't tell you what it is but … ok, so he's like my teacher now. I just can't get past that."

"What about Mical?"

"Not my type. Way, way, not my type."

"But I am?"

"Sure. You've been around the block in the neighborhoods I know well. Besides, it's either you or the big red droid that wants to kill everything. What would you pick?"

"Ok, just so long as you don't fall in love with me or anything."

"You wish."

… … …

Pilot's log twenty eight

Yep, I'm definitely leaving. Things just got way too complicated in a weird way. I'll let Ramma know what my mind is and if she wants to come with me fine but if now she can stay on the ship and maybe Ven will train her to be a Jedi. Why not, he's training everyone else.

Pilot's log twenty nine

I feel like I have nothing left to say and yet there are so many things I should say.

I guess I'll start with the latest development. I'm a Jedi now. Yeah, me a Jedi. I sure never thought this was in my future. Honestly, I still can't even wrap my head around it.

I went to tell Ven I was leaving and he wished me well and was going to just let me go. It was my choice Ven said but he said if I ever wanted to come back that he would be there to finish my training.

So I asked, what training? It turns out, Ven had been guiding me closer to the force, little by little, with every conversation. The choice was always mine to reach out and take hold of it but he was there helping me along.

I guess because of my personality he figured he couldn't train me the same was he was going about it with everyone else. He knew I wouldn't respond to the traditional teacher and student dynamic.

But then, I did it. I let all the tension melt away and I felt this … It was like a pure flow of energy going through me from all sides. I was brought back to that moment, when I killed my last Jedi and she showed me what the universe really had to offer.

And now I can see everything. I can hear everything. Rammana, that's her real name without me cutting off the end out of ignorance. When she speaks I don't hear the words coming out of her mouth. I hear what she means to say in her head. She loves me. She doesn't love me like a boyfriend or husband. She just loves me for the fact that I take care of her and gave her life back to her.

I feel like I don't have any secrets anymore. I am who I am. I am who I choose to be. I can see it now. We can all see it now. I can understand why Jedi always like to live together with other Jedi. There's this level of mutual understanding that I don't currently have the words to describe.

It's funny. Kreia has been presenting herself as some big Jedi master all this time but she's the only one who doesn't get it. I almost feel sorry for her.

And then there's Brianna. She won't say her name but it's right there on the top of her mind all the time. I can see now what she means and she knows that I can understand her. When she says fool that isn't what she means. When she throws a punch my way that isn't the message she intends. She was hurt when she found out about me and Mira. She felt it through the force and it hurt her. She is Echani so she won't let on or let it affect her behavior but in the force she can't hide that.

And now I just realized I've been talking into this thing when I really should … Brianna. I don't know if I can feel that way about her. I've spent so long making myself dislike her. But … Brianna. She can hear me. She knows I'm thinking about her.

I suddenly have the urge to go spar.


End file.
